My mother told me:
Always keep to the road!
If I go through the woods I can save twenty minutes.
For weeks, the rain has been covering southern England
with a blanket of black mud which slops and squelches
underfoot. I’m wearing my white trainers.
I have a fetish for clean shoes.
Today it’s stopped raining and the pasty path draws my feet
like dry bread. A few paces in, I stand on a knoll
for a better look at the pond. Sparse green shoots are sprouting
on the trees and sunlight skims across the water.
I hesitate. Deep inside the woods,
no-one will hear the scuffle or a girl’s screams
as she’s bludgeoned to death
and her body dragged beneath the green algae.
Last nigh, a prisoner escaped
from a high security jail.
This is a re-write of a piece of flash fiction. I’m not sure which form works best. As I wrote this it moved away from depicting the consequences of disregarding a warning to the narrator being the agent that fulfilled that warning.
Always keep to the road!
If I go through the woods I’ll save twenty minutes. For weeks, the rain has been changing southern England into a blanket of black mud which slops and squelches underfoot. I’m wearing white trainers and I have a fetish about clean shoes. But today it’s dry underfoot and the pale path looks inviting. I take a few paces to get a better look at the pond which I can see through the sparse green shoots now sprouting on the trees. The sunlight skims across the water, caressing the green algae. Once I’m deep inside the woods, no-one would hear if there’s a scuffle. No-one would hear a person being bludgeoned to death and their body being dragged underwater. I take a few more steps along the pathway. No-one will ever know.
Last nigh, a prisoner escaped from a high security jail
A man has been charged with the murder of three prostitutes in the NE of England, following the discovery of the remains of one of them on a river. It’s difficult to understand the mindset of the perpetrators of such awful crimes.
I just knew this wasn’t going to end well! A very effective unsettling start for the reader. Scary … maybe Little Red Riding hood had it easy. I like that you tackled a hard subject to write about – and handled it very successfully.
very alarming what one can do to another. you drew the reader in so aptly and released them into fear. one can only hope a lesson can be learned from the tragedy. hope all is well. have a great night.
sad.
but well written.