At dawn, spies saw her stomping
along the promenade: eyes straight ahead;
hair shaped by drizzle to a skullcap of curls.
As the afternoon breeze ruffled the shoreline,
she danced in a shower of rain,
placed her toe in the pock-marked sea…
At dusk, a solitary dog ran back and forth
close to the water’s edge
trailing its lead in the sodden sand.
The fisherman snug in sou’wester and oilskin
never noticed the bundle of clothes
abandoned to the ebbing tide.
© Carole Alexander,2007
August 16, 2007 at 1:07 pm
A gripping poem that leaves to ponder her fate.
Brian
August 16, 2007 at 2:33 pm
very well done, very descriptive.
August 16, 2007 at 3:24 pm
excellent poetic storytelling, very tautly written
August 16, 2007 at 3:32 pm
this puts me in mind of the judy garland/ james mason version of a star is born,, when he wanders off and into the sea… one last time….
August 16, 2007 at 4:22 pm
“hair shaped by drizzle to a skullcap of curls.”
Somehow that stays in mind.
August 16, 2007 at 4:52 pm
paisly was spot on. It would take such courage..and yet such cowardess to do this…
August 16, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Stunning how your narrative dips into the unknown…
August 16, 2007 at 8:13 pm
geez really good, I like it:)
August 16, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Wow! Lovely and haunting. Thank you for sharing this poem with us!
August 17, 2007 at 12:51 am
i stopped for a minute at the end, just to ponder the many things that could have happened. Very nice piece.
August 17, 2007 at 4:13 am
I like to think she was a mermaid, finally answering the ever-present call of the sea to “come home.”
August 17, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Thank you all for coming and for taking time to read the poem. It has been with me for a while, a poem that I kept tinkering with, not feeling that it was quite what I wanted it to be.
What I was aiming for was a story,a narrative so thanks crafty green poet and Tumblewords.
I wanted the ending to be open, so Brian, paisley, wendy and k.m.ryan your responses were spot on. I loved sister ae’s idea that she was a mermaid answering the call of the sea.
Thanks also to constance, gautami tripathy, etain_lavena and this girl remembers for your encouragement. I liked the “skullcap of curls” image too.
August 18, 2007 at 1:19 am
This was very good…the end truly did get me wondering what might have happened. The possibilities are endless! Thank you for sharing this.
August 19, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I loved the ending, amazingly written
August 20, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Rich in imagery. The poem presents a series of snapshots; so, as a reader, I see still photos (rather like paintings in a gallery to which they are subject to the viewer’s imagination of the likely incident/event). As with Constance, I’d say the piece is, indeed, “very descriptive.”
Cheers. ^_^
August 20, 2007 at 4:53 pm
It is interesting to me that both constance and _soulless_ have said this poem is ‘descriptive’ as I didn’t think I did description. I guess that I like to leave things lean so that the reader’s imagination has scope. I like the idea of a series of still photographs. If I can paint a picture with a few words then I’m well pleased.